I had a dream of a young deaf girl the other day. The girl was about 8. I was amazed as she told me that my voice was the first thing and first time she had ever heard clearly.

Then she faded away into the night fog. I think it was my Jana! Before I woke I saw her talking to me from afar when she told me the clarity of sound quickly faded back go normal.

Not knowing what this was all about I was suddenly in the End Zone celebrating a Touchdown in The Ventura Bowl. This was the last time I would ever carry a ball in College Football game. It was a screen pass on a Trips Play before The Spread Offense was made popular by Urban Meyer at The University of Utah.

Then I woke up!

It was as I if my Redeemer was giving that little girl
a glimpse of eternity with clear hearing. For me it was just another emotional dream with the most important person in my life while playing the sport that taught me everything I needed to know for a successful life.

It just blew me away and I had to ask you Jana: have you ever heard clearly and if so what did it sound like to you?

I have never asked you Jana this simple yet obvious questing before. Maybe that's the problem or should I say the opportunity!!!

I have been missing the most obvious little things that are not really things in fact if you think about it these "little" things are the most precious things in life.

My Momma told me when I was 8 yrs old that "little" things come in Big Packages. She said Hod will even wrap little things like a rabbit foot in Huge Package so we will know that little things to us are Big things to Him.

She said Value is not the Size of something it is the Thought and Passion underneath it that matters!

Then she said "Go get em Tiger" as she dropped me off at practice for my first real test in life.

This was a big test for a little 8 yr old boy filled with fear and anxiety that couldn't make a "little league" football team.

As I left I said, "hey momma, why did a rabbit have to lose his foot so I would understand this?"

She said, "oh Ricky, don't let those anxious butterflies (which I thought were real) in your stomach make you overthink it too much Ricky.
JUST GO RICKY!"

I guess this is why I always end everything with JUST GO!

Then my mom lit up a viceroy cigarette right there in that lot next tho Edison High School that would become the famous Smokers Field! This was equivalent to a mini type of Haight Ashbury or Wood Stock.

Then she drove away in a white Chevy Station Wagon with bald tires ready to blow out at any time. You see didn't have much money in those days.

By the way , I made the team that year in 1973 and in 1974 Edison High became the first school in the Country to have Grace on a new Generation of young people by developing "Smokers Field"

Most said they did this to keep the kids out of the bathrooms. Smokers Field was a place to go for anxiety stricken kids with Chemical Imbalances like me didn't have to feel ashamed by their habit of smoking.

They were just trying to fill up their lack of dopamine and serotonin in their frontal lobe of their brain that causes all this in the first place.

Kids could wear glasses to help them read is this any different? Thank God for School administrators that were able to have this foresight to meet this "little" need.

"Who cares about cancer I just want to make it to tomorrow!" I heard one hippie chick in bel bottoms say!

Rumor has it that someone saw my momma that summer day in 1973 as she was was dropping at practice.

My First real test in life was before me. I was challenged by the coach to tackle Todd Thanning who uwas the toughest kid on the team that year. I had to tackle more then Todd Thanning! I had to tackle anxiety, depression, endurance, desire etc...,

I think my Redeemer saw all of this going on and gave a school administrator the idea of "Smokers Field!"

You see all of us have things we have to Tackle in Life. For me it was Anxiety played out on a summer day in 1973.

For You Jana it is your hearing loss day after day surviving all those classes and conversations you pretended to hear.

And for my Mamma it was Tackling her addiction (that turned into Grace on that "Smokers Field" day.

Mamma had the biggest fight ahead of her though in the mid 80's as she was Tackled by Legionnaires' disease (which is a severe form of pneumonia) after her lungs collapsed.

This time though my Redeemer did for her what she couldn't do for herself and that was Tackle her Cigarette addiction with an unfortunate circumstance that forced her decision to quit smoking. You see if she wanted to live to see her Great Grand Children she had to make a choice.

This is Called the Gift of DESPARATION!

Sometimes God uses events like these to squeeze out the best in us

Jana, isn't it kind if ironic that you can't hear but YOU ARE THE KINDEST AND GREATEST LISTENER there ever was!

Boy does our Redeemer do things in the most mysterious ways to confound the wise! Well, I conquered fear that day! My Mamma conquered her fear and anxiety in a hospital bed right next to Paul Newmen at Hoag Hospital.

Jana, your Problem has turned into your Greatest Asset and that is your ability to hear the heart of people better than anyone who has ever existed in this planet!

Well almost everyone! Everyone except our Redeemer! but wait a minute! Maybe I'm wrong! My Redeemer just whispered to me in a Still small voice that He gave you His ears Jana when He Tackled a Cross 2000 years ago in another Smokers Field called Golgotha in Jerusalem.

"Give EAR to my words, O Lord, consider my meditation. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray. My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up." Psalm 5

Jana, thank you for letting me know that you gave thought to this. I had tears in my eyes when I read, heard or dreamt about this.

Now I'm not sure but I was blown away by the thought of all this. Just like I was blown away when you told me you never heard a cat pur till Flur. Is that why her name is Flur ?

I just realized that!

Anyway I want you to hear so bad. I would give my eyes and my ears up for you to hear clearly.

It has been a very emotional week. I have been up every night praying and writing till 4 am. One night Rick's Movie writing wrote a script about my Jana. I actually dictated it with music of forest gump.

It is about the resurrection when My Redeemer saw Mary Weeping as He walked out of the Cave.

I watched my Redeemer ask Mary, "who are you looking for and what are you looking for?'"

Then Mary changed and suddenly it was you Jana. Then my Redeemer explained a few things both serious and funny. Then He said, I came to Free Captives! Then I see Handcuffs come off of Josh and Anger Fly Away from Jed in the form of a Sparrow. Depression fled from Joy m the form of a Cloud. Then anxiety ran away from JoJo like fiery tongues on Pentecost . And of course the locks came off the refrigerator for Jill.

Kind of like that last scene in the wizard of Oz when Dorothy was surrounded by all her loved ones when Toto / Lacey jumps up on you in her bed.

Then my redeemer said , " He also came to heal broken hearts and this is when I lose every tear I have as my Redeemer looks at you Jana and gives you The Lion or Tin Man's heart in the Wizard of Oz. He says, as I cry right now, I got you a new mended heart Jana. Then Josh puts a big heart necklace around you. Then my redeemer says look! Up in the Air it says Proverbs 31 as all of your children Bless you....,,

I just read this again and I have so many tears I can't control. This is all I ever wanted for us... My Redeemer completing you when fail. My Redeemer being strong when I'm Weak!

He said, "hey I married both of you on Dec 25th 88. I'm the same now as then and so are you. I haven't left you. I'm still here for you!

Look to me and not to each other and you will automatically see each other.

Now may The Lord Bless you and Keep you and may His Face shine upon you and give you peace!!!!