I was just thinking of how Martial Arts could have helped me with my anger. I think my anger was my insecurity or uncertainty with my ability to actually present and defend myself verbally and also physically. MA could have given me that Certainty and Confidence it takes to walk away knowing that it doesn't matter and I'm still Significant and Important.

(Now I do this in other ways I will mention later like working out etc..)

The more Significance we feel the more we able walk away.

We must Build our inner Certainty / Significance Bank Account. The more we put in this bank the greater return on investment.

On the verbal stuff I got stronger by practicing while I jogged. (I still do this... It is so fulfilling that I can't even explain)

Getting in front of people is very tough to do so I do a lot of pretend speeches by myself. Why? Because I can make as many mistakes and do overs that I that want. Then when I get in front of people (a crowd or one on one) i don't worry about anything because I got rid of the uncertainties and uncontrollables while I was pretending.

This is an education you can't buy. The more you do the better you are as uncertainty becomes certainty and uncontrollables are now controlled.

Martial Arts is a way to help achieve this but in reality there are many ways to accomplish this.

To Summarize our challenges / needs:

- Certainty
- Significance
- Control

Pick any situation and focus on how to own the above C-S-C.

Imagine Shaq going to play a pick up basketball game in a country that doesn't know him. The players from the other country make fun of Shaq and say he isn't good enough to play with them. Would this bother Shaq?

Rate Shaq 1-10 in the following:

- Certain 10
- Self Significance 10
- Control 10

On the surface you would think he would rate himself as a 1 in all 3 categories. But Shaq knows better. In fact even in the Control category where he can't control others he gets a 10. Why? Because he doesn't try to control a perception he can't fix.

Shaq is still happy in this other country because he is Certain of who he is.

Now let's say the same scenario happened in Brooklyn New York with some bros. Now it's a different story!!! Now Shaq has pride and wants to kick some ass to Control his Significance.

Is this a good idea? Shaq has a championship game later that night and needs all of his energy. he reacts to back his Significance his bros try to steal.

RATING:

- Certain 1
- Self Significance 1
- Control 1

His rating went from a 30 to a 3 and now he is risking his career with a possible injury which also hurts his team. Why would Shaq take such a Risk?

In the situation in another country the rating was higher for Shaq because he didn't care and wasn't threatened.

Result: The Lower Threat equaled a higher rating even though there was no respect.

The Situation in Brooklyn the rating was the lowest it could be. Why? Because Shaq was threatened and he cared. This threat threatened Shaq's Certainty, Significance and Control. Result: Higher Threat equaled a lower rating and a willingness to take a Risk that could be detrimental to himself and his team.

This rating system was a huge breakthrough for me as it caused me to analyze situations before they happened. This process gave me Control. This Control translated to Certainty. Certainty translated to Significance which gave me Control over the Accepting the things I couldn't control.

It's not about playing BB or not playing BB in both situations it's about Why I am willing to walk away or willing Risk everything?

I was doing some career counseling yesterday with a 32 year old very successful business person named Emily. She told me among other things that she didn't want accept an offer from a bigger medical company that will pay twice as much. She said what do you think I should do?" I said, "I never tell anyone what moves to make in their careers. I won't even offer an opinion. My question is, "Why are you trying to escape from this new opportunity? You would not have gone through 3 Interviews and waisted your time if you didn't want the job. She said, "well you know... there is change and I'm not good with change... I get too stressed out... I'm just not sure...."

I said, "interesting."

She said, "what?"

I said, "you are willing to forgo an opportunity of a lifetime, with twice the pay, upgrade your resume and lose the Significance you desire in your life and career .... All because you are Uncertain and want to escape so you don't have to deal with it. This is no different then a person who is addicted to substance trying to escape reality / anxiety with an easy fix called substance to temporarily mask the uncertainty.

She said, "oh my gosh...how did you know that? That makes so much sense and I didn't even see it till you pointed it out."

I said, " 60 million people in America do this every single day. As a Career Counselor my job is to point out the 'Why?' so you realize what is really driving your decision. People miss out on so many opportunities for the wrong reasons."

Then I told her to plug in the C-S-C formula and get back to me Friday with the result. She was very fired up when she got off the phone. Why? Because she got Clarity! Clarity leads to Certainty etc..

Remember:

You a child of the Most High God. The Lord has incredible plans for you but He needs you to grow in ways you don't understand right now to prepare you for something two years from now.

Try the pretend thing. Picture yourself in front of thousands of people telling the three keys to your success and transformation. This is very fulfilling. Don't listen to the enemy in your ear saying it's foolish. The enemy knows this is the Secret to Success..